by Elizabeth Hykes
Shawna’s dark hair stringing past her shoulders
covered her dark brown eyes but for a small opening
through which she blinked then looked away.
“I found a $20.00 bill on the sidewalk yesterday so
I went to the thrift store where I got this outfit
for fifty cents and got a shower at the truck stop so I
could be clean for our lunch today.”
The social worker nodded saying,
“you look really nice, Shawna. It makes me feel good
that you wanted to look your best for our time together.”
“I saw Jess, Jess, Jess. Yes, yes. I saw Jess. Jessie
saw the halo over my head and said
I see that halo. I see it shining, shining, shining.
My halo was shining, and Jess saw it, so they said.”
“Where did you see Jess?”
“They was in the shower with me.
They got in for free, free, free
‘cause the cashier didn’t see, see, see,”
Shawna sang making the sign for “see” with
each mention of the word while looking up
at the ceiling.
“Is Jess with you now?” asked the social worker.
“They took a seat by the window so they could
watch us,” Shawna said pointing to an empty
table by the window. “They will protect me.
They protect me, me, me you see, see, see,”
she signed and sang. Then she crossed herself
three times while chanting “Blessed Jesus,
Blessed Mary, Blessed Father of us all.”
The waitress came and said “hello Shawna.
Hello Diana. What will you have today?”
“Hamburger on bun for fun, fun, fun, and
French fries with ketchup and peach pie
please” sang Shawna shaking her head
and signing “no,” then laughing.
“I’ll have the same, Susan.” Diana smiled
“And coffee for each of us, please.”
“Jess says don’t smile. Don’t smile, Diana!
Don’t smile!”
“I shouldn’t smile? Does that have something
to do with being safe?” asked Diana. “I know
Jess wants everyone to be safe.”
“Wipe that smile off your face, young lady!”
shouted Shawna, standing up.
“Shawna, I am not smiling. You are not smiling.
Jess is not smiling. Who needs to stop smiling?”
“Nobody,” grumbled Shawna sitting down again
looking all around, then at the table by the window.
“Shawna, let’s take three deep breaths together.”
Diana breathed. Shawna reached for Diana’s hand
and they breathed together.
After a long silence, Shawna said “safe with Diana,”
and smiled. “Jess says yes, yes, yes. Safe with Diana.”
Susan arrived with the order.
Shawna ate fast, looking around
her hands and face close to the plate,
totally alone. She gulped her coffee,
then ran her finger over her plate
catching the last drip of Ketchup,
licked her finger and smiled at Diana.
Diana smiled back.
Shawna stood abruptly shouting
“We got ‘ta go, got ‘ta go now, now, now.
See you Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday!
G'bye, Diana, g'bye, g'bye,”
Shawna waved over her shoulder after
holding the door for Jess.
Shawna’s dark hair stringing past her shoulders
covered her dark brown eyes but for a small opening
through which she blinked then looked away.
“I found a $20.00 bill on the sidewalk yesterday so
I went to the thrift store where I got this outfit
for fifty cents and got a shower at the truck stop so I
could be clean for our lunch today.”
The social worker nodded saying,
“you look really nice, Shawna. It makes me feel good
that you wanted to look your best for our time together.”
“I saw Jess, Jess, Jess. Yes, yes. I saw Jess. Jessie
saw the halo over my head and said
I see that halo. I see it shining, shining, shining.
My halo was shining, and Jess saw it, so they said.”
“Where did you see Jess?”
“They was in the shower with me.
They got in for free, free, free
‘cause the cashier didn’t see, see, see,”
Shawna sang making the sign for “see” with
each mention of the word while looking up
at the ceiling.
“Is Jess with you now?” asked the social worker.
“They took a seat by the window so they could
watch us,” Shawna said pointing to an empty
table by the window. “They will protect me.
They protect me, me, me you see, see, see,”
she signed and sang. Then she crossed herself
three times while chanting “Blessed Jesus,
Blessed Mary, Blessed Father of us all.”
The waitress came and said “hello Shawna.
Hello Diana. What will you have today?”
“Hamburger on bun for fun, fun, fun, and
French fries with ketchup and peach pie
please” sang Shawna shaking her head
and signing “no,” then laughing.
“I’ll have the same, Susan.” Diana smiled
“And coffee for each of us, please.”
“Jess says don’t smile. Don’t smile, Diana!
Don’t smile!”
“I shouldn’t smile? Does that have something
to do with being safe?” asked Diana. “I know
Jess wants everyone to be safe.”
“Wipe that smile off your face, young lady!”
shouted Shawna, standing up.
“Shawna, I am not smiling. You are not smiling.
Jess is not smiling. Who needs to stop smiling?”
“Nobody,” grumbled Shawna sitting down again
looking all around, then at the table by the window.
“Shawna, let’s take three deep breaths together.”
Diana breathed. Shawna reached for Diana’s hand
and they breathed together.
After a long silence, Shawna said “safe with Diana,”
and smiled. “Jess says yes, yes, yes. Safe with Diana.”
Susan arrived with the order.
Shawna ate fast, looking around
her hands and face close to the plate,
totally alone. She gulped her coffee,
then ran her finger over her plate
catching the last drip of Ketchup,
licked her finger and smiled at Diana.
Diana smiled back.
Shawna stood abruptly shouting
“We got ‘ta go, got ‘ta go now, now, now.
See you Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday!
G'bye, Diana, g'bye, g'bye,”
Shawna waved over her shoulder after
holding the door for Jess.
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